


Almost Entirely Wrong

by holdouttrout



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-21
Updated: 2008-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:25:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdouttrout/pseuds/holdouttrout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper had no unrealistic expectations about sex with Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Entirely Wrong

Pepper had no unrealistic expectations about sex with Tony. She was pretty sure that if she ever did have sex with Tony, it would be somewhat spur of the moment, and she'd probably be drunk. Tony _would_ be drunk. It would not be the most magical night of her life, and she would more than likely only come once.

It would, she admitted, be good. Tony Stark didn't have bad sex.

Still, when she fantasized about having sex with Tony, she hadn't counted on being wedged into a supply closet with two crates of toilet paper, various cleaning supplies, and a mop that kept jabbing her in the back.

"Okay, we'll just move a little to the right..." Tony said, his voice tense and a little bit angry, and Pepper understood _exactly_ how he felt. They had fallen in here with a complete and utter disregard for their surroundings, and had made pretty good progress before the mop had taken aim and fallen onto Pepper's head. Even that wouldn't have been enough to dampen the mood except that the mop had started poking at her shoulder with each shift Tony made.

They shifted to the right, and the mop slid down further, the handle landing exactly in the small of Pepper's back. Pepper winced.

It wasn't going too well.

"Tony," Pepper said, "maybe we should--"

"Oh, no. We'll figure this--"

He crowded into her, the mop momentarily trying to wedge itself between her vertebrae, and then she was against the closet door.

"That's better," she said tentatively.

Tony squirmed and plastered himself against her. "Really, that's great, except--" he yelped. "Pepper, it's trying to _rape_ me!"

He reached over, fumbled for the doorknob, and they spilled out of the closet--Pepper, Tony, and finally the mop-- and into a heap on the linoleum floor.

Pepper looked up at the fluorescent lights and thanked God that at least no one was on this floor to see them.

On top of her, Tony groaned. "That mop is evil."

Pepper really, really didn't want Tony to move, because then she'd have to deal with the fact she'd almost had sex with her boss in a supply closet and been thwarted by an inanimate object. She wasn't sure which part of this situation was more humiliating.

She realized Tony was still waiting for her to say something.

"Tony, I can't breathe," she complained.

He moved, took some of his weight on his forearms, and looked down at her. She knew she had to be a mess. Her hair was down, and her dry cleaners were going to have a fit when they saw her clothes.

Tony's eyes showed the smile before his lips, and Pepper found herself smiling back as the mop finally clattered off to the side.

"I have to admit I didn't expect to be thwarted by industrial cleaning supplies."

He kissed her, and Pepper wasn't expecting that, but she really wasn't expecting the kiss to be over almost as soon as his lips touched hers. Tony got to his feet and held out a hand to help her up. She guessed that was it. They'd probably never talk about this again.

She took his hand and stood, trying to brush the worst of the wrinkles out of her clothes before turning to pick a couple of strings off Tony's suit.

He caught her hand and held it, startled her into meeting his eyes.

"We'll finish this later," Tony said. "In a bed," he added with a wry glance back at the mop.

Pepper had no idea what possessed her then, because she said, "Probably a good idea," and not, "Finish what, Mr. Stark?" with the bland look she reserved for the times when he was just about to step over her line.

Tony's smirk broadcasted that he knew exactly what she was thinking, that she'd be thinking about it the whole rest of the day, and that that was just fine with him.

Pepper flushed. She was going to be almost exactly entirely wrong about sleeping with Tony Stark.


End file.
